Chase And Rookie – The Baseball Bat Dogs

A truly beautiful story

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Dream In Peace Yogi Berra

yogisMy Top #5 Yogisms

  1. “It ain’t over til it’s over”
  2. “A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore”
  3. “The future ain’t what it used to be”
  4. “You better cut that pizza in 4 pieces because I’m not hungry enough to  eat six”
  5.  “Pitchers are liars or crybabies”

You will be missed and loved forever Yogi…Thank you for blessing us with your grace

What Is 40 Years Old And A Complete Waste Of Time

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Happy Birthday RUBIX cube…And I vividly remember when my father first gave me THE CUBE  in hopes of calming the extreme GEN X, adhd in me when I was 8 years old (1974).  I also vividly remember my response, “Cool Pops!!! A square baseball with many colors….Can I go out now and play some baseball!” It was at this moment that my father realized he was going to have many headaches in his future regarding his first born son…and replied, “No Christian…this is NOT a multi-colored, square baseball…This is a RUBIX cube…”  After about 10 minutes of explaining and showing me how to play the RUBIX cube, he left me alone with it thinking to himself, “PERFECT!  I will have about 2 years of PEACE as my son tries to figure the RUBIX cube out!”

A very long story short….I tried this RUBIX cube thing for about 15 minutes and then got extremely BORED with it….but I also wanted to make my father proud by finishing this RUBIX cube game so my solution was very simple…I took out my little painting set and the LITTLE BRUSH that came with it that my parents had given me a few years earlier when I was addicted to FINGER PAINTING (I think it was the smell of the PAINT that I was addicted to) and I painted the RUBIX cube so that every color matched on each side..PROBLEM SOLVED…

About 30 minutes after my father had given me that RUBIX cube thing that he had hoped would calm me down for 2 years…all he heard was “Look Pops! I finished the RUBIX cube game…NOW, I’m gonna play some baseball!”…and I was out the door faster than a father can say, “Don’t do that SON!”

All I’m gonna say about playing baseball with a RUBIX cube is that…..THERE IS NOTHING MORE FUN in the life of an 8 year old GEN xer with extreme ADHD than to play baseball with a RUBIX cube for about 4 innings….I mean, the fastballs you can throw with a RUBIX cube were unbelievable…even more fun was trying to catch a RUBIX ripped to the 3rd base line on the a wicked SHORT-HOP in order to completie a FANCY double play…The BEST, however, were the REGGIE JACKSON home runs you could hit that would always smash and PERFECTLY ding all the parked cars in the bleacher section of our baseball field.

And then everything STOPPED…thanks to the FAT-KID from 114th street and Amsterdam avenue…who we USED to call the “DANCING TEDDY BEAR”…I will never forget it…it was the bottom of the 4th inning of a really tight game…the score was 21 to 20 with my team winning (back then I think the RUBIX cube was made in america instead of CHINA like today so they lasted much longer)…the bases were loaded and our skinny Puerto Rican pitcher named GREG tried to sneak an INSIDE FASTBALL past the DANCING TEDDY BEAR for STRIKE three….but, instead of being on the INSIDE of the HOME PLATE…his pitched TURNED into A SQUARE MEATBALL right down the MIDDLE of the PLATE…

And let me tell you…the DANCING teddy BEAR crushed that PITCHED…I mean, literally, crushed that RUBIX cube…he hit that RUBIX cube so hard and so far that it FLEW through the WINDOW of some APARTMENT on the 5th floor…COMPLETE DEAD SILENCE…you could hear a PIN drop in CHINATOWN that’s how silent it became (we were on 112th street)…GAME OVER as we all fled the CRIME scene back to our individual homes.

It goes without saying that when I got home, the first thing I wanted was another RUBIX cube…”Hey Pops! Someone stole my RUBIX cube…Can I get another one tomorrow!” …to which he replied…”OH hells NO!! Here is something called a BASKETBALL! Now, go learn how to play down there on those basketball courts and let me get some sleep!”  Being a good son, I listened to my FATHER and started playing basketball..10 years later (18 years old) I was one of the top 20 best high school basketball players in NYC and one of the best 250 in the nation…proving that WHITE BOYS can jump (I had a vertical of 40 inches)..black jesus was my name in the mean-streets of ghettos throughout new york city…because I looked like jesus but jumped like a BLACK guy!  So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY rubix cube…you were a TON of fun for a brief moment in MY LIFE….

The World Series Will Be Won By Either The Detriot Bankrupts, I Mean, Tigers Or The Boston Frauds, I mean, Boston “Strong” Red Sox

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This I promise!  I wish I could pick one or the other as the WINNER so as to prove that I can ACTUALLY see the future.  Well, not exactly see the future but READ the future.  Greed is America’s favorite pastime which means everything is RIGGED to garnish the most ratings and profits.  The best HOLLYWOOD script to the YELLOW BRICK ROAD TO PROFITS in this ever greedy country is to take the best fabricated story then re-wrap it in shiny american colors and then present IT on television as ENTERTAINMENT when, in reality, it’s all staged so that the TRULY greedy can profit even more from the IGNORANTS, I mean, americans (and just in case any of you americans don’t like my words about america, just know that I am american and I couldn’t give a fuck what you think because I am ALSO an american ;)).

But let’s say I had a gun to my head and was forced to pick THE WINNER of the world series so that another AMERICAN MURDERING bullet won’t rip through my brain, I’d have to pick the BOSTON FRAUDS, I mean, the boston “STRONG” red sox.  At first, I thought the Detroit Bankrupts, I mean, Tigers would win because the city of Detroit is going bankrupt and what better way to pad the pockets of GREEDY politicians with more money  than with a WORLD SERIES win.  Even better is the fact that not one damn red penny of profits from a DETROIT world series win will go to any person living in Detroit because THEIR only prize will be their PRIDE that their team won the BIG game- knowing full well any and all profits will not go to them but to their politicians that bankrupted Detroit.

But, as I thought about this more, I realized this country is filled with IGNORANT, racist ASSHOLES that would rather hurt fellow INNOCENT americans of different color, religions, and creeds than ever hurt the very politicians who so thoroughly enjoy raping their very ignorant constituents.  Add to this fact that boston Massachusetts is CURRENTLY, if not more racist than any confederate slave loving state from our past but also recently had to endure a terrorist act by russian muslims during their last BOSTON marathon thus creating the EXTREMELY PROFITABLE term BOSTON fraud, I mean, STRONG which means my pick for the 2013 world series WINNER goes to the BOSTON frauds, I mean, Boston “strong” Red Sox – there are way just too many non-white people on the other teams still left in the playoffs and even more NON-WHITE people in the stadiums of the teams still left in the playoffs for this not to happen.  But I can be wrong about boston winning the world series but I won’t be WRONG in picking either the red sox or the tigers as baseball champions of 2013 and I have never played one ORGANIZED single game of baseball ever in the 47 years I have been alive on this planet.  And if I am incorrect in my pick of the 2013 world series winner, it’s because major league baseball has read this blog and is going out of their way to show me up 🙂