Chris Christie Needs To Start Eating Like Its 1999 Again

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Inside word in Washington today has it that Mr. Blubber, I mean, Chris Christie flew over the George Washington Bridge in a helicopter on September 11th, 2013 so that he could witness the havoc he created in Fort Lee, New Jersey by shutting down several traffic lanes as political retribution for the Democrat Mayor who did not support him in his re-election bid as Governor.  You see!  This is a perfect EXAMPLE as to why you can never trust WASHINGTON!  Why do you ask?  Very simple!  Because, as we all know, there ISN’T a FRIGGIN, fucking helicopter on this planet nor in this universe that can lift that FAT-FUCK chris christie off of the ground.  Just kidding!

 Seriously though, if this is TRUE then FAT-FUCK chris christie’s political career is instantly over – and that’s very good news.  And all I can is…if I had been stuck on that bridge during any of those traffic jams for hours on end and then found out afterwards that chris christie ordered traffic lanes to be shut down on the busiest bridge in the world as some form of political retribution to a political enemy, I would have instantly gotten in my car with 10 extra large pepperoni PIZZ PIES in the back seat and would have headed straight to Trenton, New Jersey (the capital of New Jersey) and thrown every single one of them PIZZA PIES right off of FAT-FUCK chris christies huge head.  FOR REAL cause that’s how I roll YO!!!  But that’s just me.

And I haven’t even mentioned the inside word that chris christie used Hurricane Sandy funds as his own personal political slush fund yet– that’ll be for another day.  So, my advice for FAT-FUCK is simple – start eating like its 1999 again.  I mean, it was your obesity that hid the fact that you are a terrible leader and that you don’t care about anything or anyone other than yourself and what you can stuff down your throat.  Plus, you can use your dieting as your excuse to the problems that you created because everyone can relate to being in a BAD MOOD when first losing weight.  It’s just natural. 

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