BlubberGate, I Mean, BridgeGate Crushes Big Pussy, I Mean, Chris Christie And His Presidential Hopes

What makes a heathen of a Conservative more sick to his stomach than a ever-spending, whiny Liberal?  A Republican from the Northeast!  And therein lies Mr. Blubber’s, I mean, Chris Christie’s ultimate character flaw in his bid to become PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES of AMERICA in 2016.  You cannot be a REAL LIFE, obese caricature of an AMERICAN POLITICIAN who is constantly THE fat BUTT of obese jokes from UNFUNNY american comedians, I mean, late night television hosts – it SIMPLY just won’t work FATSO!  Do you UNDERSTAND!  Long story short, BlubberGate, I mean, BridgeGate reeks from the deathly STENCH of CRONYISM and PETTY POLTICS.  I mean, if you are going to close 2 lanes on the BUSIEST BRIDGE on the face of this BEAUTIFUL PLANET in order to punish the MAYOR of Fort Lee for not playing by your FAT-MAN rules in your RE-ELECTION bid as Governor of New Jersey, then you deserve EXACTLY everything that will happen to you in your near OBESE future.  And all I can say is, “You are ONE lucky FATSO because if I were driving in New Jersey on any of the 4 days that the George Washington Bridge’s 2 lanes were closed and got stuck in a 5 hour traffic jam in Fort Lee, New Jersey, I would have PERSONALLY driven to your home and beat you SENSLELESS with an EXTRA LARGE roast beef sandwich with all the works ON IT and then SMASHED an extra, large PIZZA PIE from the sky right in your FAT FACE – now that’s AMORE!  So, the best piece of advice I can give Mr. Blubber, I mean, Chris Christie is to watch the hit HBO series The Sopranos again – particularly the episode where TONY SOPRANO kills BIG PUSSY on a boat for being a DEMOCRATIC, I mean GOVERNMENT snitch because by the 2016 United States Presidential Elections, Chris Christie will be POLITICALLY sleeping with the FISHES.

3 thoughts on “BlubberGate, I Mean, BridgeGate Crushes Big Pussy, I Mean, Chris Christie And His Presidential Hopes

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